Adult What the hell...

They say that the things you love about your partner, significant other is what will drive you nuts about them. That is the truest statement ever. I am a steady person, but I had a fucked life. I do have problems like anyone does really. You never get out of life unscarred. My boyfriend has had a sheltered life. Normal, both parents around. Easy I guess you can say. In comparison to mine. 

He loves that I have issues. I think it speaks to him that maybe he can fix them or help me. I don't need his help, I learned to put all that has happened behind me. Strangely though, it turns him on lol. 

I don't mind because I benefit from this. His passion for me is great and so is his love. 

My problem at the moment, is when I do have days where I am emo or upset, he takes it personal, like he is doing a bad job. He gets so angry, like he wants to leave. He even says he wants to leave. The things he loves about me, he gets mad if I even barely have a real problem. I don't understand or even know what to do, but him being mad and threatening to leave makes whatever minor issue I had be forgotten and all I can think about is that I am going to lose him. 

This has happened so damn often, I almost want to tell him to get the hell gone. I guess the problem is when you think that the one you are with could just leave you so easily. You would be barely a blip on their life. I know it is not the case, it is his stubborn, prideful ass, which I might add is one of the reasons I love him. It is also one of the reasons I am about to say just leave. I love him so strong, but I need to feel like he is human with me. That I am not just some fun time he is having, but something that is meaningful in his life. Someone that, if they were not around, he would miss me and think, "damn, I fucked up". 

If I would lose him, it would shatter my life, and I don't feel like it would be the same for him. I think the thought that I love him way more than he loves me, it is getting to me. He says he loves me more because he puts up with me and my craziness. I am not sure what is him, or just his pride. 

Anyways, that is it for me. I needed to vent. Thanks for reading! 

 

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Comments (2)

  1. paper_doll

    If you lost him, it would shatter your life? That’s not healthy. Be strong. Let him go. You should love yourself more than you love him or he loves you. Take care of yourself. Good luck.

    March 09, 2016
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    June 21, 2017