They say you can't have love without trust and vice versa. How you can ever believe someone really loves you if they constantly have trust issues with you? I don't know if I lack trust in him, or in myself. I don't know if I don't trust in my love for him, or his love for me. Yesterday was awful, a huge fight. I thought it was the end. This time for real.
He gives me another chance though, but this time it is different. This time it is all me. All my turn to change. To trust, just in love. In the love we made together. It is more precious than even a child, creating love with another person.
I think sometimes your head gets in the way of your heart. I know probably a lot of people will say differently. That your heart will mess you up. For me it is always different, I stop listening to my heart and I get too much in my head. You ever hear "you think too much". That is me, perfect description. I try to disect things like love and affection. And there is no science to love. It just happens. And you never know when or how it will happen. It just does. I have always just been the person that looks for a pattern, a reason. And that logic doesn't work with love.
So I have to push insecurity and doubt to the side, stop damn thinking.