Everything

I turn a blind eye to your lies. I tell myself that they are white lies and they really don't matter much. I have known what you do for over a month now, and the lies flow from your mouth like nothing. What does it mean that you lie so easily to me? I am torn so much at the moment. The other day I almost confronted you. I want to so much now, but I know when I do, it is the end of us. I don't know what to do anymore. 

How do I say the words? I would do anything for help, just to know what to do. Do I have this last weekend with you, then say them? You obviously don't love me like I thought you did. Are you even happy with me anymore? Let's end it before I hate you, and I couldn't stand that to happen. It is almost at that point. Everyday I become more and more numb, and it is harder to get back to that love, the love feeling. I just feel either numb or hurt all day. I already know I will lose you, but why can't you just be a man and let me keep the love for you. Why do you do things to make me sad as hell, is it for me to leave? So you don't have guilt? I don't know. I never will understand men. Honest I just want to give up. 

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